Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave
by TheJoker'sGotMyHeart
Summary: Fairytales are ideal, perfect, but only in theory. They cloud your mind and impare your judgement. And once you let your guard down, its almost impossible to raise it back up. After all, give a girl an inch and she'll kill a mile. Bella/Edward R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello there. This is my first real Twilight fanfic, so i hope it doesnt dissapoint. Its something unique that i wanted to try, so i hope you like it. it takes place after the wedding in Breaking Dawn, so Bella will not be pregnant or a Vampire. This chapter is more of a prologue that kind of depicts the Future. Maybe, Maybe not, but this first chapter is more future in the future. lol Review me if you think i should continue or have questions._

_Desclaimer: Stephanie Meyer ows the rights, i only own the plot._

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**1. Prologue- Nothng Gold Can Stay**

_Nature's first green is gold_

_Her hardest hue to hold_

_Her early leaf's a flower;_

_But only so an hour,_

_Then leaf subsides to leaf,_

_So Eden sank to grief,_

_So dawn goes down today, _

_Nothing gold can stay. _

_- Robert Frost_

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This was never what he wanted. Not at all.

It all started out as a game. A harmless little game, but now he was paying the ultimate price.

Isn't it funny how one wrong move can cost you everything? And I don't mean money. No, not money. Money meant next to nothing to him, seeing as he had so much of it already. I mean, the very purpose of your existence. The very reason you keep on going after everything else was lost. Gone. Forever.

But he had gotten over that, as best he could. Now he had no reason for anything. Now he wanted to let everything go, let it slip away. Just like everything else that had happened in his life.

Maybe he was cursed. Maybe he would never get to experience true love, at least not one that would last. He was too much of a monster. A murderer. A blood-thirsty fiend.

He couldn't think about that now though, not when his world was crashing down around him. And he still was in denial. He knew it was all over, as soon as the thrumming of _her_ heart ceased, he knew it was all over. But he never got it, he never let it in.

It was now, as he ran aimlessly though the dark forests, taking in every sound around him, that he felt the pan radiating all over his body. As if he was being overcome by monstrous flames. And he didn't care. Feeling this aching pain all over was better than thinking about _her_. Thinking about her soft brown hair, and her appetizing floral scent. What he wouldn't give to just hold her in his arms one more time. And yet, that day would never come. But he always knew that it wouldnt last. At least, not forever. Not like she wanted.

If only he had given in, like she had said on so many occasions. Maybe, just maybe, _she_ would still be here, with him. She wouldn't have been sucked away into oblivion, where everyone else he had ever loved seemed to go. He thought he had readied himself for this. He thought he would be prepared for this day. It was just the law of nature, human's live, and human's die. But today was not her time, it was too soon.

He hated _her_, hated every fiber of her being for leaving him. For abandoning him.

But, of course, that could not last very long. How could he hate such a beautiful creature. How could he hate his own guardian angel. _She _had saved him, in every way a person can be saved, but now she existed only in his memory.

And It's the hardest thing, being in love with a memory. Searching for what no longer exists, and in the end all you can do is decide what you want to remember next.

And that's what his mind wandered to, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. All of his memories, his good ones at least, were of _her_. All the times they had touched, all the times they had kissed, all the times they were together. Making him hurt even more, but not physically, no, mentally. He was at his breaking point.

A mind could only handle so much before it snapped, showing everyone the monster within.

But he would never let that happen. _She_ would never want that to happen, to see him as the true monster he was, even if she never believed it herself. His inner demon would stay locked away, deep inside him, even if it killed him. But it wasn't his inner monster that would follow through with that deed.

His pace grew faster as the scent of salt water filled his brain, he was nearing the coast now, the last place anyone would think to find him. The last place he himself even wanted to be, but he needed quiet, calmness. Away from the raging thoughts of his family. The thoughts that were killing him.

Feeling the soft sand underneath his bare feet, he slowed down to a walk. His human pace.

The beach was bare except for a few fallen trees lying across it. Not a soul in sight. This calmed him a bit, now able to think clearly. Alone. Free. Letting all the guilt and remorse flood through him. A small voice, soft and melodic swam through his head. The last words his dearly beloved had said to him before she succumbed to the darkness.

_When you move on, remember me, remember us, and all we used to be._

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This was just an idea that popped into my Brain and i hope you enjoy it. Again, this is a prologue, its not the official first chapter because, believe me, Bella will be in it.

Please Review if you would like me to continue, otherwise i dont know if i will find the time. I need wonderful reviews to keep me going :]

So Review! Just dont totally hate on my story. Thank You REVIEW


	2. Is this Madness?

**A/N: Hello Fellow readers. Here is chapter two, i hope you like it. Also, fyi the italicised parts are usually the future, plus they are labelled future. And the past parts are normal, and are labeled past. Just so there isnt any confusion lol. Please read and review! :] ALso im going to start adding a quote to the beginning of every chapter, like the one below. :) If you have any concerns or questions please review. Review even if you dont lol. Just review. Thank You :] **

**Disclaimer: Only own the plot, Nothing else.**

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_TRUE! --nervous --very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses --not destroyed --not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily --how calmly I can tell you the whole story._

_- A Tell Tale Heart, Edgar Allen Poe_

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_Future~_

_Everything around him seemed so far away. The grey waves crashing against the shore, the bleached tree's littering the sand, even the salty precipitation falling from the sky. All was lost in his mind. And yet, he couldn't keep himself from thinking back on better times. Times when it was worth having a monster within you, because it gave you a chance to be with the one you loved. _

_He remembered back to the first moment he saw her, in the crowded school cafeteria. The first time they had kissed, returning home from the meadow. All the time's he had saved her from the horrible fate she would otherwise encounter. Their wedding day. She looked so incredibly gorgeous in her flowing white wedding gown, and this time she even believed it herself. _

_The first time they had made love… _

_A sharp sting flooded his eyes, making present the tears that would never fall._

_Closing his eyes, escaping into himself, he began singing softly. The song that seemed to be the only thing that calmed him now. The only thing besides that perfect smile that soothed him. " Their Song"_

_**I don't want this moment to ever end Where everything's nothing without you**__**  
**__**I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile 'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you  
**__**Through it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these words  
**_**_I want you to know With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
__And I won't let go_**

_That had been her favorite song. And he even remembered the day she had first heard it on the radio. They had been driving aimlessly around their small town of Forks, wasting time away. Together. When she had an urge to turn on the radio and listened as the song's chorus opened up, starting slowly and softly before exploding loudly. _

_He even remembered the smile that spread across her face as she listened intently on the lyrics. Already making up her mind that, that would be "Their Song."_

_That had been such a happy time. A happy, care free time, filled with laughter and reckless love. If only it could have lasted, their fairytale adventure. But eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairytale disappears._

_It had been that one event. That one little slip-up that had caused a chain reaction. A chain reaction that ended in death. It was this one little lie that caused his angel to fall from grace.._

_When your fairy tale disappears you tend to turn to the things and people you can trust. But the thing is, its hard to let go of that fairytale entirely cause almost everyone has the smallest bit of hope, bit of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will all come true._

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Past~

_Bella's POV_

I was awoken by the bright sunlight filtering in through the open window.

I was lying on my large, white bed, wrapped in a pair of strong, cool arms. My Edward. Sensing I was awake, he leaned in closer to my neck, breathing against my ear, which sent chills down my spine.

" Good morning, love," He said. His voice as flawless as ever. And I couldn't help my sudden increase in heart rate. I wouldn't ever get used to that. To knowing he was mine, and always will be. Forever. And soon the day would come that it would be made permanent, with the kiss of death, as Edward called it.

" Morning." I said sleepily, wriggling in closer to him, taking in the scent of his skin. I traced circles over his bare chest, like I had so many times before, and let my mind wander back to the first time we had been in this position, with my hands over his white chest. It had been the first morning on Isle Esme, almost five months ago. And I had woken up like this many times since then.

" It's time to get up for school Bella." He said lightly, chuckling.

Confused, I stretched and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him softly on the mouth. Hopefully, I could persuade him into letting us skip classes for the day. It was the first day back to Dartmouth after winter break, and maybe it would just be a slow day anyway. But of course Edward knew what I was trying to do, and refused to give in.

Perhaps a compromise was in order.

After a moment, he ended our growing kiss and picked me up off of our bed bridal style, and set me on my feet. I was in nothing but my green and purple undergarments, and a cool chill went through me, causing me to shiver. So Edward took my hand and led me to our closet. It was a walk in, similar to the one in our house back in Forks, but unlike the one back at home, it was filled with more sensible clothes. Nothing too extreme, to Alice's dismay.

Changing quickly into a pair of worn down jeans and a pink baby doll shirt, courtesy of Alice, I walked into the kitchen, where I smelt delicious food being made. Edward had changed long before I had finished and had started cooking pancakes.

The kitchen wasn't a long walk from our master bed room, only right down the hall. And it was a decent size. The color scheme was very light and open. Hardwood floors, and many windows. It still ceased to amaze me how we had gotten such a beautiful home in New Hampshire in time for School. But then again, if anyone could do it, Edward could.

Taking a seat at the granite island, I watched as Edward made the pancakes, even adding chocolate chips to them. He flipped them in the air exactly 3 times each, cooking them to perfection. Five minutes later, I had a heaping plate of chocolate chip pancakes sitting in front of me, along with a glass of Orange juice.

" Oh you spoil me Mr. Cullen." I joked, picking up my fork and taking a bite. Edward smiled his crooked grin and leaned against the island next to me. Almost taking my breath away. He gently ran his fingers over my cheek, brushing the hair behind my ear, and spoke." Only the best for you Mrs. Cullen."

I reached my hand up to his and held it there, loving the sensation it left on my skin, and I pulled him closer to me by the collar of his white shirt. My heart was beating so fast, I became slightly self conscious, but he stared into my eyes, only caring about this everlasting moment.

Slowly, our lips touched, and we became engulfed in our own waves of bliss.

That was, until a high pitched ringing came from beyond the kitchen, coming from the living room. Sighing heavily, I untangled myself from Edward and sulked over to the phone. Edward seemed to find my pouting amusing for his laughter echoed throughout the entire house.

Sending him a playful glare, I reached the phone and answered it, an undertone of irritation in my voice.

" Hello," I said slightly annoyed, but the voice on the other end came back just as irritated.

" Look Bella, We don't have all day, we have sociology in fifteen minutes. And im NOT going to be late our first day back. My outfit is just too perfect to not be given the full experience of your average day at college." I heard Alice's sing song voice reply, But by now Edward had appeared by my side, holding his hand out for the phone.

Handing him the phone, I listened as he spoke to Alice, wondering what he had to speak to her about. But to my disappointment, he stepped away from me, talking in hushed whispers that I couldn't make out.

The conversation ended just as quickly as it began, and I found myself in Edward's arms. He kissed me one final time on the cheek before he led us out the door, heading towards the car. He helped me into the seat, and got in beside me, taking the wheel. Now we were on our way to pick up my favorite sister. I could really get used to this.

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_Past ~_

_He wished he hadn't gotten used to it. He wished he hadn't let his guard down, after all, give a girl an inch, and she'll kill a mile._

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**Thats chapter 2! i hope you like it so far, and believe me, it will get better. But i need your lovely reviews to keep me going so please, please review! If you want great chapters up quickly, i need reviews to feed me!**

**Any suggestions, questions, or constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**

**SO review and make me a happy camper. Have a nice day!**


	3. Start of Something Old

_A/N: Hey Everyone. Sorry for the wait, i've just been verryy busy now that school is coming to a close, but i will be updatig more frequently soon hopefully :]_

_Also, i would really much appreciate the reviews. If you have anything you'd like to say please do it. It would make me rather happy :]  
Disclaimer: I only own the Plot_

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_If thou expect death as a friend, prepare to entertain it; if thou expect death as an enemy, prepare to overcome it; death has no advantage, except when it comes as a stranger._

_ - Francis Quarles_

_Present ~_

_He didn't want to think. He didn't want to breath. He didn't even want to exist. How could he? When his whole reason for being had disappeared, what was the point?_

_Of course he knew there was a point. He had a family, he had a mother who would be devastated if he left, he had siblings who would do anything in their power to stop him. But that wasn't enough. They hadn't lost their one true love. They hadn't lost their other half. He did, and they would never understand what he felt._

_Yes, they had lost Bella too. But she meant so much more to Edward than they did to them. Even if they never admitted it. Its true that she had become part of their family, but to them she was expendable, no matter how much they denied it. If she was gone, they could continue existing. He couldn't._

_And he didn't plan on it. _

_He hadn't figured out the particulars yet, but he knew what his outcome would be. He would get himself killed, and maybe then he could be reunited with her. Maybe._

_But there was always that looming chance that he wouldn't be allowed in. The chance that he would be an outcast to heaven and his love. He was a killer, and killers don't get to end up happy, no matter how hard they tried to redeem themselves. And he excepted that._

_If he couldn't be with Bella in afterlife, then he was right. He hadn't deserved her. And living an endless hell would be much more appealing than being here. Roaming the earth with no-one who understood._

_He truly was alone. _

_Why had everything come crashing down? If only he could go back to that first little lie. Everything would be different now. But he couldn't go back, her time was obviously up, and he hated that fact._

_She didn't deserve to die, and it was all his fault. He had time. He could have gotten her out, they could have been safe, at least for a little while longer. But he didn't listen to his better judgment. Instead he took a chance. A chance that ruined everything._

_If he had just changed her when he had the chance._

_He had been selfish like that. Wanting to keep her just the way she was, instead of giving her the only thing she wanted. He gave her everything he wanted to give her, and never fulfilled her one desire._

_She may have said to him that she wanted to wait, but deep down he knew that, that was only because she was trying to make him happy. Just like she always did. And it always worked. She had that way about her, that made him just forget about everything else. It was like he was drowning, and she was his breath of air._

_Simply, intoxicating._

_But that didn't matter now. What he had to do was make up his mind. How did he want to die? And in the end, it wouldn't matter. _

_They were lucky. They got what they wanted, and they wanted her dead. Congratulations. Not only had they erased her life, but they destroyed his. Stupid, blind, luck. But they were going to pay, if it was the last thing he did._

_That thought gave him some hope, faith, that his love would be avenged. Even if she wouldn't be around to see it. Not that he wanted to think of that either._

_Instead, he began his planning. Sitting there on that lone piece of bleached wood, he planned and schemed. They would have to pay for their actions. But, as they say, every occurrence requiring undivided attention will have an equal distraction. And his distraction was his long lost wife._

_Luck. That's what it all boils down to, doesn't it? The smallest break one way or another. It can change a life or destroy it. And you can't fight it. No matter how strong you are._

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Past~

School was cancelled. For an entire week.

A rather large snowstorm hit New Hampshire last night, dropping ten inches of snow in six hours, and it wasn't forecasted to stop for five days. Also, within this time, it was expected for almost the entire state to lose power at least once. Isn't that wonderful?

Not only was it cold in New Hampshire. But it was _freezing._ The Snow storm made it even worse. And I thought the rain was bad. I was so wrong.

I waited just inside the door for Edward to pull up with the Volvo, we were going over to hang out with Alice and Jasper. They had a surprise or something for me, and I was being dragged out of my warm and cozy apartment into a blizzard. This I was not so happy about.

Edward pulled up a few seconds later, and I ran out of our house as fast as I could. But the ground was covered in a thin sheet of ice. Just my luck. As my legs flew out from under me, I reached my arms out in front, ready to break my fall when I felt Edwards hands grip my shoulders, catching me.

" Whoaa." I screamed just before Edward caught me, and as I looked up to him, he was smiling. But his eyes were full of worry.

" Winter really isn't your season is it." he Joked, still a little nervous as he escorted me into the car. I laughed a little breathlessly as he got into the driver's seat. " No I guess not. The snow, the snow is not a big fan of mine, not that I care for it either. I could really go without the cold too." I said to him as we made our way over to Alice and Jasper's house. Edward smiled at me, and grabbed my hand in his. We stayed like this in silence as he drove.

Their house wasn't too long of a drive. It was about 10 minutes away from us, but it was farther from the school. The house was secluded in the wooded areas, like ours, but it was much bigger. More over the top, and abstract compared to ours which was homey and open.

We pulled into the driveway, and before Edward had even cut the engine, Alice had ran out of the house, and was pulling me from the car. Her expression was ecstatic.

" Its about time you got here." She said, walking me into the house, but she was looking back at Edward. Her voice irritated.

" I'm Here Alice, am I not?" He said, coming to my side and replacing Alice's hold. She just gave him an annoyed look, and said something under her breath, causing Edward to laugh.

The three of us walked up the steps, into the house, where we were greeted by Jasper.

" Hello Bella, Edward." He said to us smiling, wrapping an arm around Alice's shoulders. I greeted him with a hello and Edward nodded as we walked over to a large black couch in the middle of the living room. Jasper and Alice Closed the door softly and followed us into their living room. It was warm in here, and for that I was thankful.

Edward and I sat rather close to each other on the small couch, and his hand was on my waist, pulling me closer. And he slid it up and down methodically, causing a calming sensation to shoot throughout my entire body.

I looked over to where Alice and Jasper were standing, and I couldn't help but notice the fact that Alice couldn't stay still. She was jumping around giddily, a large smile plastered across her face. I was instantly cautious.

She was excited about this surprise that she was giving me, and I really wasn't too fond of surprises. They were always to big and extravagant. I never did deserve them. And knowing Alice, it would be completely unnecessary.

" Alice-" I started, but she interrupted me, instead beginning to stop my future protests.

" I don't want to hear it Bella. Your going to get your surprise, and your going to like it. Especially since you didn't let me get you a big gift for Christmas." She spoke darkly. Very serious. But I countered.

" Alice, for Christmas you got me a shopping trip in Paris."

" Exactly. I could have gotten you something much better than that." She spoke matter-of-factly. And I didn't reply. She was right, she could have, and would have, if i had let her.

" Fine." I mumbled, and she smiled, removing herself from Jasper's embrace and over to me. She bounced over to where I was sitting, and grabbed my arms, pulling me onto my feet. I almost lost my balance but with a roll of her eyes, she steadied me.

" Alright Bella. I'm going to need you to close your eyes for the surprise. I cant have you see it and ruin my fun! So close your eyes, ill make sure you wont fall." she said, covering my eyes with her own hands, worried I wouldn't do it myself. I just chuckled and closed my eyes also.

We only walked a few feet before I felt Alice's hands leave, and larger, hotter hands take there place. For the longest time I just stood there, unsure of what was happening. Those hands did feel familiar. Along with that musty woodsy smell that wafted into my nose. But I couldn't put two and two together.

It wasn't until I heard that deep laughter erupt from inside his chest that I knew who it was. It was Jacob.

Spinning around, I jumped into his now open arms, holding on as tightly as I could. I was dangling in the air, but I knew this was easy for him. He had enough strength for it, and selfishly, I didn't want to let go.

This was the first time I had seen him in months, since I had left Forks to come here. And every since then hadn't really talked. I mean, we spoke here and there but the calls had become shorter and farther in between until finally they just stopped altogether.

But right now, holding him in my arms I knew we were always best friends, even if we didn't speak much. That bond that had been formed, wouldn't ever go away. He was my Best friend, My Jacob, and he always would be.

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_Present~_

_She didn't know it, but he wasn't just there for a visit, he was there for reinforcements._

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_Alright everybody. If you like this story, or have any suggestions, criticism, ect. please Review. I need reviews to keep me going. If no-one likes the story, i wouldnt want to continue wasting time you know? So please review. _

_And if there is any confusion. The present POV isnt Edwards. Its 3ed person omnicent but this will lead into something else. SO i hope that clears stuff up._

_Now Review :]_


	4. Artificial Intelligence

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. School just ended and now i'm on vacation! Yay! Well i hope you like tihs chapter, andi'll hopefully update more frequently now, but i dont know if anyone is reading. If nobody is reading and reviewing than i dont know if i will continue. Enjoy and Review :]

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_O my love, my wife!  
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath  
Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty.  
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 5.3_

_Present~_

_He didn't know how long he sat there, but day turned quickly into night and vice versa. His phone had gone off numerous times, but no one ever came. They knew where he was, but they were giving him time. Time to think. Time to sulk._

_Time to grieve._

_He stared up to the skies, silently screaming for the clouds to break, and for the everlasting rain that had always fallen onto the town of Forks to come again, but they had been nothing but dark and omniscient since the day his dear had departed. Leaving the town and all that surrounded it in a dark haze. Never letting up, never moving on._

_Blinking his eyes pleadingly, he began devising a plan, as best he could. Because if he was going down, and he had already planned he would, he was going to take one of them down with him._

_Rising swiftly from the bleached driftwood he had been perched on for hours, he paced along the beach, his steps becoming more angry and full of hate than the last. His mind was working in overdrive, analyzing every aspect of the situation._

_They knew this would drive him to the edge. They** knew,** __and yet they did it anyway. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, that's why they did it. To push him further into the madness that threatened to consume him everyday._

_With his love out of the way, and that inner monster clawing its way out from inside of him, maybe they deluded themselves into thinking that he would actually join them. But if he hadn't before, he certainly wouldn't now._

_And that's when the plan popped itself into his head. _

_The only way to take down something like that is to know it. To understand it. To be able to analyze it from every aspect. Including from the inside._

_The only way to win, is to lose._

_His mind was made up, his resolve not wavering once, and he turned on his heel to walk back up the beach, into the murky shadows of the forest._

_The plan was already unraveling within his head, filling it with swirls of destruction and mayhem. He was ready to go out, and he knew that, that would be their very first thought. But he would surprise them, oh yes he would. He'd show them how to play._

_As his scheme unfolded behind his eyes, he picked up his pace and went running into the direction of his parked car._

_Although the sudden burst of happiness flooded him temporary, it couldn't hide away the pain he still felt, the pain he was holding inside of him. He refused to fully let go, to really, once and for all, come to terms. _

_But he wouldn't have to._

_He wouldn't let himself reach that point, and there was no need. Once he arrived, he would soon after bring it down. It was all just a matter of time. Time he had an endless supply of._

_As he neared his car, he felt that same familiar buzzing in his pocket and for the first time since he left, he took it out and looked at the bright blue screen._

_Their were countless of missed calls, but the most recent was the 1 new text message he just received from Alice. His pace slowed until he stopped completely, reading the same line over and over, not quite understanding what it mean. And knowing all too well the reality he was trying to hide from__._

_'__I know this isn't something you want to hear right now, but he has to know. You have to tell Jacob.'_

_He couldn't quite wrap his mind around the concept, but flipped his phone shut and stuffed it back into his pocket none the less. Walking the rest of the way to his Volvo, he climbed in, not even acknowledging the fact that his body was moving without his brain telling him to do so._

_He was headed in a direction that he knew would only leave a pain in his heart, and it wasn't the airport._

_It was time to tell Jacob._

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Past~

Bella's POV

A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, pain and the play by play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games. We use them to pass the time to make life more interesting... to distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games, any games. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much…

Jacob and Jasper were battling each other in Halo, and so far, it was a pretty close game. We had been watching them go at it for hours, neither one ever giving in, and I could faintly pick up on the rest of my family placing bets on who would win. Most were betting on Jasper to win. Not me.

My Jacob would win, he always did in some way shape or form.

Everyone around was laughing and enjoying the sight in front of them. Jacob and Jasper had stood up, getting really competitive and I giggled at the serious look on Jacob's face, causing him to turn my way, a smirk on his face.

" Is something funny?" he asked goofily, and I nodded my head but before I could manage to say something, Jasper spoke up.

" Yeah. What's funny is you just lost." he said laughing, and pressing the button on the controller, killing Jacob's character.

" Come On!" Jacob whined dropping his controller an dropping down to the carpet, a pout on his face. I felt Edward shake with laughs, and looked up to him, his perfect face twisted into a grin. A grin that I soon copied.

" Better luck next time." I said through laughs, removing myself from Edward's hold and walking over to Jacob, pulling him against me. At first he stiffened, but soon his body relaxed, pulling me onto his lap and tickling me feverishly.

" Jacob, he he, ahh, stop Jacob he he, Stop!" I squealed, pushing him away. He let me go, but followed close behind me as I ran into the back yard, talking me to the ground after only a few moments. In my rush i had almost forgotten about the monstrous snow storm outside, but now I couldnt think of anything but.

" I caught ya." He whispered huskily into my ear, pressing me into the freezing snow. My whole body was shivering sharply, though the heat emanating from my friend kept me somewhat warm.

" T-That you d-did." I stuttered. My teeth chattering slightly, and my voice cracking.

Sensing my distress, Jacob jumped off of me, ushering me back into the house, and I could see Edward in the doorway, his face both concerned and worried. Once I was inches within the doorway, Edward ran up to me, replacing Jacob's warm hands with his cool ones.

" Are you okay?" he asked, his voice strained, and I just smiled, looking up into his adoring eyes. " I'm f-fine." I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself fro warmth, and Edward rubbed the arm methodically.

I looked up to him as he stared down at me, and I couldn't help but melt. He was so loving, so caring, so beautiful. So out of my league, and yet, for some reason, he chose me. I still couldn't fully quite understand how I got so lucky.

Once inside the building, Jacob shut the door loudly and I had almost forgotten about his presence behind us entirely.

Edward looked up into Jacob's eyes, the liquid gold hardening slightly, and his mouth contorting into a stiff line. And I turned my head to look up to my best friend. His expression was slightly angered, but at the same time pained. And I hoped it wasn't because of me.

We walked back over to the couch, and Alice came bouncing over to sit next to me, a forced smile playing along her lips. Jacob and Edward seemed to be having a silent conversation as they continued walking past the couch and over towards the kitchen, before disappearing behind the swinging doors.

" What was that about?" I asked worried, looking back and forth between Alice and Jasper. Neither of them said anything, instead looking at each other, deliberating on whether to tell me or not.

Seeing this, I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off the couch, striding confidently toward the kitchen but failed and stumbled on the carpet, Alice appearing by my side to catch me.

"Okay Bella, come on. Don't worry." Alice soothed, walking me back to the couch, ignoring my struggles to get to the kitchen.

" Alice. What's going on." I asked as soon as she pushed me onto the couch. I crossed my arms over my chest, a slight pout on my lips and waited. I saw her roll her eyes once before sitting down next to me. And I saw Jasper had moved closer as well.

Alice took my hand, her eyes full of worry and I felt my breathing hitch, waiting for new I didn't' want to hear.

" Bella.." she said looking away from my eyes, and I waited, needing to hear it, to know what was wrong and why everyone had been acting this way.

I saw Alice open her mouth to speak, and I saw the hurt in her eyes but nothing came out. Edward had emerged from the Kitchen followed swiftly by Jacob and they looked as solemn as ever. It's a wonder how easily the happiness could slowly slip away, leaving nothing but sadness and worry.

Edward's arm slipped around my waist, squeezing me slightly, and he picked me up from the couch.

The room was silent, the only noise being the loud pounding of my heart, and that's all I could focus on. We walked into the kitchen, allowing for some privacy though that was no use. They'd hear us either way.

" Bella." Edward said stopping, holding his hands in mine. Giving them a gently squeeze, he moved his eyes to meet my gaze.

" Edward, please. Just tell me." I said pleadingly, grasping his hands tightly.

" Everything's… fine." He breathed. That same crooked grin on his face. But I knew he was lying. I just gazed up at him, a blank expression on my face, waiting for more.

There was none.

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_So go ahead... argue with the ref, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast... play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Okay, so it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game... right? _

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Ehh idk if i like this chapter, but i would love reviews none the less. So pleaseeeee tell me if you like this. i neeeeed to know :]


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